If Only Tears Could
by psychedelic aya
Summary: [One-shot. Songfic. ZidanexDagger. Ending spoilers.] “It’s Dagger. She’s crying.”


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Authoress' notes: First attempt at songfic, and has been the last over two years. Yes, yes, I'm editing this. Mweheh.

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DISCLAIMER: As I said, I own... nothing. sniff

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NOTE: Edited by psychedelic aya as of February 20, 2005.

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If Only Tears Could

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By psychedelic aya

Queen Garnet Til Alexandrios the 17th roamed around the castle, her footsteps slow and timid. Tears freely cascaded down from her gentle auburn eyes, down her supple cheeks.

It had been 4 years since she lost her best friend, her loved one.

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'Zidane…'

**__**

How will I start tomorrow without you here?

Whose heart will guide me while the answers disappear?

Is it too late, are you too far gone to stay?

Best friends forever should never have to go away

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'This is stupid.' The queen thought as running into her bedroom. She had been waiting—waiting all this time for _nothing_.

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'What if he is dead?'

Her heart wrenched.

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'No, he promised!' She reassured herself, knowing that _her_ Zidane, although known to be from a dishonest profession—by all means, he was a thief _and _a rogue—he would still never ever break a promise. Especially if it was to her.

Never.

Unless…

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What will I do? You know I'm only half without you

How will I make it through?

"He's gone."

Garnet said it to herself for the first time in years. Admitted it for the first time in years.

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'Zidane Tribal is gone. Forever.'

She always believed that he would come back, someday, somehow. No matter what the others said, what the rumors made her believe; she would remain steadfast to her faith in him.

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"He lived, I'm sure."

But he didn't.

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"He's coming back to me."

The tears spilled.

"I'm sure…"

How could she bear watching the play later? It was too much! Tantalus was again performing "I Want to be Your Canary". She didn't know if she could take it; the play had lots of memories.

…Precious memories.

It was the play when she first saw Zidane, in all his stupendous and, with a small giggle she thought, _idiotic_ glory. 'Twas play when she first met Zidane. The play when she first held Zidane, the play when she was first held by Zidane…

In short, the play made her remember everything about Zidane.

**__**

If only tears could bring you back to me

If only love could find a way (find a way)

What I would do, what I would give if you'd

Return to me, (you'd return) someday, some how, some way

If my tears could bring you back to me

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'Tell me again what I'm doing here.'

Indeed.

What was she doing in the balcony, where the queen would watch any performing band if ever there was going to be a performance? What!

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'Someone tell me!' She screamed inwardly, fighting back the tears with clenched knuckles. She was sitting there, all _alone_; with no one to talk to, no one to share with, no one to cry with, no one to laugh with…

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'I hate you, Zidane!'

Her tears spilled, and she was unable to control them.

'I hate you for leaving me broken like this!'

She wept in the balcony, hoping that none of the guests or nobles would see her. She didn't want to let them see the Queen of Alexandria cry.

She didn't want anyone to see her cry.

**__**

I'd cry you an ocean, if you'd sail on home again

Wings of emotion will carry you and all they can

Just like love guides you and your heart will chart the course

Soon you'll be drifting into the arms of your true north

"You're in the backstage, idiot." Blank rolled his eyes, as running a hand through his spiky hair. "It's not like you to forget what the Tantalus ship looks like." Then, as an added thought, "Maybe you were cooped up inside that tree for so long that it's made you loonier than you already were,"

"Shut up!" Came the hasty reply of whomever Blank was talking to. "Well, I'm nervous! What do you expect?" He was a figure in a hooded cloak, looking ready to pounce on his friend if another sarcastic comment was made. "I haven't seen _her_ in _years_!" He slowly moved the curtains and bopped his head outside.

"Hey, it's not good to do that. The people might notice you." Blank then said, as pulling his hooded friend away from the curtain.

"Right. Sorry." The reply was made, but with some uneasiness. "…Hey Blank?"

"What?"

"Why is she crying…?"

"Who? Who's crying!"

The hooded lad bent down his head, and peeked through the curtains just one more time.

"It's Dagger. She's crying."

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Look in my eyes, (look in my eyes)

you'll see a million tears have gone by

And still they're not dry

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'I better stop before Steiner notices me.' Garnet thought, as wiping the tears away from her eyes. She turned to look at the play, and noticed that her favorite part was coming up. '_Oh look! There's Blank! I should...'_ Should what? '_Pester him again and ask where Zidane is?' _No. Clearly, she wouldn't _pester. _She would just… ask, is all.

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It's not wrong to pine for someone you care so deeply about.

Indeed, it wasn't. Of course it wasn't.

Nevertheless, going back to the play; when the so-called part she loved came up, she was surprised to see the actor playing Marcus was different. It wasn't Marcus himself (who also played Marcus, by the way), but a hooded man. When this mysterious man acted, it felt as if he was really into the play, like it was real to him.

Dagger arched an eyebrow.

"Who is that…?"

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If only tears could bring you back to me

If only love could find a way (find a way)

What I would do, what I would give if you'd

Return to me, (you'd return) someday, some how, some way

If my tears could bring you back to me

"No cloud, no squall, shall hinder us!"

She really began to like this actor; the way he made his expressions, the way he spoke, the way his emotions were so into Lord Avon's "I Want to Be Your Canary". The way he acted was so _perfect;_ and somehow, Garnet even scrutinized that it was a little too perfect for anyone she knew in Tantalus. Who was this man?

And what a coincidence, too, that he suddenly started playing the part she liked best. In all actuality, she didn't know why she even liked this certain scene and its script. She didn't know why her heart fluttered so pathetically in every moment the words were spoken; in every moment the passionate lines of Marcus were said.

"Since the sun lends me no ear, I pray to the twin moons!"

Closing her eyes, Garnet felt her heart skip a beat. She berated herself for feeling like a giddy schoolgirl, but was unable to help it, nonetheless.

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'Maybe it's the actor…'

Yes, that must be it. He was just _too_ good.

"Grant me my _only _wish!"

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Too good, indeed.

She held her hands over her chest, and waited. There seemed to be a pause.

Then it came.

"Bring my beloved Dagger to me!"

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I'd hold you close, and shout the words I've only whispered before

For one more chance, (one more chance) for one last dance,

there's not a thing that I would not endure

There was, unmistakably, _silence_.

A feeling of lightheadedness came over her as she opened her eyes, managing to glance to the stage, catching a wisp of blonde hair and a tail.

Garnet didn't even need to think twice. Whether just a delusion, a dream, or a hallucination—she needed to see for herself! _'No one has dared to call me Dagger for over four years!' _So it couldn't be anyone else. Could it!

Yet still; nevertheless the thoughts, the murmurs below, and the stares and the silence—she stood up and forgot about being a queen, a nobility, a symbol of peace, of grace, of poise and of whatever else she was supposed to be but didn't want to be or just simply _wasn't—_all that Garnet, (no; for the moment of thrill, she was Dagger again) thought about was running out of the balcony and going into that actor's arms, though she was still unsure of whoever he was.

Beatrix and Steiner were there by the door, then, just standing. Simply that. Not doing anything. Not opening the door for her.

Garnet nearly panicked.

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'Won't you let me out!' She did not manage to speak it out, yet the desperation in her eyes showed almost the same thing.

They smiled then, though, clearly knowing what to do. They were the queen's friends, after all, and they dare not intrude nor be a hindrance to her happiness.

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Her happiness, they thought with a relieved sigh.

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…Finally.

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If only tears could bring you back to me

If only love could find a way (find a way)

Her mind was a complete blank; unaware of the confused murmurs, the appalled stares, and the pushing and shoving and stopping.

Garnet did not care anymore.

Tears brimmed her eyes as she ran, quite blindly at that; nothing else occupied her mind except for the thought of _him_, of the thought that he may be finally back.

Nothing could ever—

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Bump.

Her tired mind's dreams went astray—the Falcon's pendant had fallen, and her neck suddenly felt bare on its absence.

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'Not now!'

Guilt washed over her as the memory of her mother's death, Alexandria's destruction, the loss of people and friends played like a film in her head. Going back for the pendant would honor their memory, clearly, for it was a symbol of their utmost sacrifice—and yet it seemed that the piece of jewelry had landed a million years away, in a time where she could not reach—and if she tried to, she would lose this fragile moment of glee of being able to see Zidane again.

It wasn't such an easy choice—and yet she knew her answer long before.

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'Nothing else matters if Zidane isn't there.'

And the choice was made.

…Her crown hit the ground soon after.

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What I would do, what I would give if you'd

Return to me, (you'd return) someday, somehow, someway

She jumped into his arms then, the moment she reached him; and they shared a moment of laughter and of tears and of anger and of relief—mixed emotions clearly dominated both of them, most especially her, who had been waiting for his return for so long.

She tried to speak, of course she did; but her heart was stuck in her throat and nothing but sobs of both happiness and grief, held back over the days, months, and years—it was all that came out of her.

"Dagger…"

She whimpered in his arms; the slow phrase of "Welcome home." finally coming out of her lips.

He replied with a tighter hug, wanting to cry himself, but held back for the sake of being strong for both of them.

"…Glad to be back."

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If my tears could bring you back (bring you back) to me

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Authoress' Notes as of MARCH 09, 2005: Yes, this was highly edited. I planned on just proof-reading it, but look how it turned out. I don't even recognize it to be the original anymore. -.- And I think I just made things worse. Oh well. I just suck that much, is all. But I hope I did FFIXs beautiful ending justice. I swear, no FF ended like FFIX did. The story was just… different. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed!

Gomen, the ending of "_Okaeri_" and "_Tadaima_"YES, I KNOW ITS OVERUSED, FOR CRYING OUT LOUDbut I couldn't help it. It just seemed so _right_ for Zidane and Dagger. And once more, GOMEN. 


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